Each of us have moments in our life that demands us to have courage, strength and our full attention. The static of the world fades away and we arrive in our own silence, often for most, an uncomfortable zone to be in. Each lost moment to whatever degree it arrives, maybe a word unspoken now regretfully paused, an action silenced by our own self-talk, motivation that fell away or times of frustration gagged my rage. We are confronted with the enormity of that lost moment and the possible results ‘if we had continued’ becoming the observer in fast forward in this unfulfilled experience, and moved into a deep awareness of how things could have been different or how they really are now! Standing in the ashes of our plans is ultimately difficult, and often met with personal disdain and hostility, resulting in our own side effects. We will never be immune to all the changes and lost moments that we experience.
So, what do we do? The lost moments I’m referring to are the moments that our brain, our internal world, hijacked our plans and stopped us. These are the lost moments when regret sets in and the defeatism seeds start to germinate. The moment, for example, where I sit with my daily planner looking upon my strict plans directly in front of me; my required phone script, phone, laptop, all open on the corresponding pages, stepping my brain ‘outside the box’ from my comfort zone to make my 50 call list, a new field outside of chosen career. My soul panics. Panicking about the ‘new’ tasks to do, the possible conversations and problems I may have to address, the simple fear of not knowing what personality or whom will be on the other end of the line. STOP! My mind says. My inward voice then argues with my actions then halt order. I even count myself into the action, 5-4-3-2-1 CALL, and then hang up before my prospect answers. I get up and walk away. From motivation to sudden defeat. Two hours later I sit with regret looking at my phone and my abandoned ‘to do’ list and see a pile of failure. The self talk turns to motivation to start over. “Get Gutsy” I chant to myself. “I can and I will.” BREATH. After dealing with all 50 calls, I breathe another deep breath, a moment of success, and it actually wasn’t so bad. Repetition and consistency fast forward five months and my daily calls are no longer hijacked with a little personal grit no longer another lost moment.
How too: How to work through the Defeatism Mindset. You must have a clear view of your end targeted result. What is it that you are doing and what is the best desired outcome? THE GOAL? Stop over-thinking about what you are supposed to do and be flexible and open to your own compromise, put ‘all your eggs in one basket’, hone in on the activation of the task and GO FOR IT, be flexible to start over if you panic. Take a breath, and start over immediately. We are not falling victim to the building process that starts to gradually descend into a series of mini-defeats and mini-hijackings, you will construct a false sense of reality for yourself and have a ‘fake success’. The difference? The end result. Reaching your Goal for the task, then? NEXT!
It’s up to YOU! There is no one coming to either do it for you or to rescue you, Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. Never feel guilty for starting again, and count each win!
Dr. Dee Middendorp-Hacking. Living Lovingly Personal Development.