Ingredients combine together to result in a delectable portion of delightfulness. If an ingredient is missing, then the entire recipe may very well crumble and be a total mess. Self criticism, negative internal dialog and constant vocalizing what you perceive as your worst and most dramatic problems, trains your brain and your body, ultimately your life, to become something you don’t want to be; Anxious, Stressed and Depressed. Continually vocalising and over-thinking your problems in the negative to pretty much anyone at all, is the greatest addiction that is usually overlooked. You are unknowingly digging your own hole!
“Self-talk is the most powerful form of communication as it will empower you or defeat you!”…silently. So what is the missing ingredient in our lives for our own happiness and contentment if we participate in continually talking in the negative?
To be aware and to realise the enromity of your own thoughts, sometimes one has to be either super-Human, a psychologist or an enlightened specialist. Most of us aren’t any of those. Spoken and unspoke words can either be influencing or damaging, right? Do’nt allow your lower self to take over. OK, so how do we do that?
Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone? See yourself for what you are. Most will say no to all this because the space in which you usually exist has been constructed to either protect yourself or to live comfortably, without a great deal of fear and doubt, as really all we all want is to be happy and safe. However, there is no personal advantage here, we need to continually learn, be the student. Once you get into doing it, it will flow and you will learn then you need to recognise to not fall into the old thought patterns, odds are you to have listened to others in the negative – how do you handle that? A friend may express to you many pitfalls of their lives, the latest family issue, the negative banter of crumbling relationships, your energy drains just listening to it all and even more draining computing it internally. Would you rather be you, or an echo of yourself which is exactly what one becomes after continual negative banter?
Don’t sell yourself short, this is not a time for that. In Leadership, business, and marketing we are to build a tribe, understand our tribe’s present pain and problems, create a solution/assist them to find a solution for themselves, assist in the solution where necessary and implementation of it, then amplify, then allow forward growth.
How? The buzz words around are to practice positive self talk; Do your thoughts build you up or tear you down? Enhance your functioning or hijack you? When you listen to your inner monologue are you surprised at how harsh you are on yourself? “Whatever you believe on the inside is what you manifest on the outside” If you are constantly talking about your problems and putting yourself down, how will you ever be the best version of yourself?
‘Practice positive self talk” daily is simply reframing the negative thoughts into a more positive nature boosting self-confidance, self awarenss and self belief whilst not listening to other’s opinions of you. Propergate words that are non judgemental, non critical that offer joy to yourself throughout the day and towards others, NO WORDS OF COMPLAINTS, the inner critic is now gone on vacation.
Speak to ourself with compassion. You will do better and keep moving forward just ask yourself the question, “What more can I be doing to help myself not hinder myself’? What can I be learning from this situation?”
Breaking the habit of self-complaint and complaining to others; Bring awareness to your thoughts and replies. When you start paying attention you will be surprised at how much you say in the negative and that your subconscious is internalizing this and manifesting this.
Journalling and checking your environment: Cut back on fear-based news altogether. Clean and de-clutter the house, surround yourself with positive people and like minded individuals that do positive things, not engaging in negative cycles of behavior.
Challenge your belief and comfort zones. Remember not all thoughts are actually true. Create a calm space between you and your reactions. Don’t just automatically accept what you think, then say. “whether you think you CAN or CANT, you are correct either way”.
Choose. You have the power to choose your reaction. Choose one thought over another, and act in the positive.
Daily practice. The truth is we all feel negative emotions. It’s a choice to engage or not, and a choice to take little action steps daily. A body-builder doesn’t win the competionion on his first day, but with continual work and focus, the body-builder can win any battle.
The missing ingredient? After asking yourself “How can i learn from this? Whats the lesson here?” The missing ingredient is your tolerating what you attract. What you tolerate you become. The ingredient is within your mind to go from a ‘chase’ focus to an ‘attract’ realm.
“I am no longer going to have any toxic bahavious or toxic words in my life”…this is a starting point. Self commitment. Most of us are quite accepting of our others and others toxic behaviours. STOP. We attract what we tolerate. Set boundaries. Don’t feed toxicity in any fashion. Create distance, recognise your own toxic behaviours and set on addressing them. Trust that things will get better. Reflect and make yourself accountable. THEN, celebrate each win. No longer just accept the negative.
“The Energy that defines worlds and creates universes is within you” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
Dr. Dee Middendorp-Hacking. Living Lovingly: The Lifestyle Flippers